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Ghosting

Why do men ghost? 

Realistically, everyone ghosts at some point in time or another.

You may be thinking----"Me?! I have never ghosted anyone in my life!"

When you really think about it, who have you ghosted in the past?

Maybe it was a guy who was really nice but you just didn't feel the chemistry with.

Maybe it was a friend who things just fizzled out with.

Maybe it was even a professional or business relationship where you just blew off someone you weren't sure how to deal with.

That's really the crux of it.

We don't ghost people because we want to be mean or hurt their feelings.

We ghost people because we simply don't know what to do with them or our feelings about them. 

We ghost people because we don't want to hurt them but don't know how to tell them we really aren't interested (personally and/or professionally).

Yet, we assume that we get ghosted because of something we may have done wrong.

Truthfully, we get ghosted because of the other person and, in most cases, there isn't anything we could have done differently to avoid the ghosting because it wasn't the right match.

There is one small thing we can do to impact people differently that can occasionally prevent ghosting from happen.

One of the things we work very closely with our clients on is how to communicate their winning blueprint early and often.

Your winning blueprint is your wants and needs in a relationship.

Most of us don't know what those really are deep down and we really struggle to tell someone else those deeper desires.

We tend to err on the side of making demands or not putting our needs out there at all because we don't want to scare someone off. 

When you can communicate in a way that is congruent with how you feel AND attractive to the right guy, he will pursue you.

This also means having conversations that feel emotionally tough.

Part of learning to communicate well is being able to deal with uncomfortable feelings.

You feel the fear and do it anyway because you know that there is a massive reward in pushing through being uncomfortable.

The reward is no longer having to deal with dating, drama, or even thinking about ghosting.

The reward is no longer wondering how, when or if someone will leave again just when you have hope it might work out long term.

The reward is finding your person to build a life with.

It 100% requires doing what other people are unwilling to do and stop ghosting others.

Dating is a means to an end so let's end it.

No one really wants to have to date.

We just want to get to the part where we can enjoy spending our life with the right person.

We are going to help a small group of women make that happen in 2020 and we are getting started NOW.

All you have to do is reply to this email with the word "ready" so we can get the ball rolling.

Here's the thing...if you plan to just send us one message and then ghost, save us all time and don't respond.

You deserve it!

Ashley

Dr. Ashley & Dr. Michael Arn help you create Habits for Success, Happiness & Love in your life.

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